I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
