Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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