Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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