why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
