I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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