I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want to make out with him forever
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
