the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
