I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
