That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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