Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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