Having a random hookup so left but love u
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
