she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The adults are the big ones right?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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