He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize