stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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