whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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