I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You know, be my cock's hype man.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
