I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
