And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
