I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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