While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
