He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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