found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
