I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize