toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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