i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
