I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
