why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
