If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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