hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize