he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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