let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize