so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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