just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
