What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
