Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
