our cab driver is having phone sex.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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