I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There are leaves in my underwear?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
