omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
