dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize