I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
