She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
