whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
