Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
