and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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