There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The air was thick with penises
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
