we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
