if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
