Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
