we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize