Got a toothbrush?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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