I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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