you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize