she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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