we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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