I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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