i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize