none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
