im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
