i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
