It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
