Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
