I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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