I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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